Freshening up.

So, it was confirmed yesterday that I do indeed have strep throat. I know this is horrible to say, but THANK GOD! I was in SO Much pain and to know that the pain had a name and a cure was just awesome to me. My doctor immediately called in some antibiotics to the pharmacy and I ran right over to pick it up, but they had called it into the wrong pharmacy which I was told, "happens all the time" and so I traveled to the next pharmacy and picked it up. I wont say it gave me immediate relief but man...Im doing better. I heard it best described as "swallowing broken glass." and I couldnt agree more. I cant decide if I am going to work tomorrow but my boss has yet to call me back. Ok I just called her again and she thinks I should be ok. I dont feel ok but oh well. I need the money.

So for the past two weeks, I have signed myself up with a counselor because I realized I need help. I wasnt going to but you know what, I have the insurance and I felt like I should do it "for all the people out there" who dont have insurance and cant afford to see a counselor. My mind feels mentally better day by day since seeing her, she is amazing and I cannot believe I got so lucky with clicking with someone on the first visit so that I felt comfortable enough to make another appointment. I had my last appointment yesterday and I just love her. She talks to me like I am a person, not a patient. I so appreciate her. I told her that as of right now, I do not want medication but I am afraid it may lean that way to do eventually because my mind doesnt rest even when Im exhausted lol but I want to just get my life together. I need a plan and she is going to help me with that. I feel more confident now that I am going to "get there" as soon as I figure out exactly where "there" is.

Ok so I have comcast cable and on demand and I watch the kids version of the Biggest Loser which still has Kim and the hot trainer guy, and those kids get out there and jog and Im like, if they can do it, why cant I? They just jog and live through the pain. No one wants to jog with me and I was going to let that just determine my whole jogging urge, but I need to be more independent. I have to stop worrying about what other people think. I mean, sometimes when I post and get no replies I get so discouraged from posting again and I realized today, that has to stop. I am not posting for anyone but myself. My only excuse for the not jogging is because I live in a somewhat, ok, very bad neighborhood. LOL I dont want to get shot or raped while I am jogging!!

Anyways, I have allot of head pain. So I am going to rest.