Well, I did it, I returned the clothes! I feel allot better. I told my friend, J, what I was doing and she agreed with me returning them was the right thing to do. She thinks Im beautiful no matter what,(and I actually believe her when she says this!) but she says she understands how I feel because she feels bad about herself when she gains weight.
My goal right now is to lose 20 pounds. Altogether, the goal is 100. But Im gonna do it in 20 pound increments.
I have to work tomorrow. Blah. For some reason, no one in the E.R. (the nurses) seem to like me that well. I dont think Ive done anything wrong but they just dont take to me. I guess I cant do anything about it but I wish I wouldnt want their approval so much, you know? Just go to work, do my job and come home. But I really want to make allot of friends. Oh well. The people I want to be friends with like me, so that should be enough. I hate that Im the type of person who needs everyone to like me, especially when theyre assholes to me. I would just like to have the guts to tell people to go stick it where the sun dont shine. Yep.
On a brighter note, I think Im going home for Christmas. Im excited about this because I miss everyone! Im going to request the time off this week so I can plan ahead.
