We went to the Santa Barbara Zoo today and took this photo. I am on the left side. I think it looks cool but my face is HUGE, especially my cheeks!! LOL Oh well.
So...for the past few weeks I have been experiencing a horrible pain underneath my right breast that shoots all the way through to the right side of my back. I thought it was my bra so I switched to a sports bra for awhile but the pain continued. Last night after some Jack in the box, I was so nauseated that I laid on the couch and breathed deeply for awhile. My cousin asked me if I was tired and I told her that I just felt sick. She then asked me where my pain was and I pointed and knowing I had been complaining about it for awhile she gave me a look and told me it was more than likely my gallbladder. I was taken aback by that, although with my size, I really shouldnt be. She just had her gallbladder removed last summer so she was all too familiar with the symptoms so I trusted what she was saying. I ran to my computer to look up the symptoms and sure enough I had about 8 of the ten of them. I am devastated. I know its a minor procedure and that I shouldnt be worried and its not really that I am even worried, its more of a shameful thing, like, how could I have done this to myself? My body has never been this big and I just kept eating, ignoring its warnings, ignoring its protests for healthier foods. I did this to myself and now because of it I have to have a part of me removed. It just bothers me. Bad. And it hurts to sit up for long periods of time now, especially if I eat anything so ironically I am trying to not eat anything. My insurance kicks in the first of May, so I am trying to hold on until I can see a doctor that will direct me towards the next step. This is a real wake up call for me.
On a happier note, things are looking up. I am making friends at work, and one of them even called me today, I was so excited. My job terrifies me each day that I go in, I seriously get nervous even just thinking about it, I almost go into a full blown attack. But it doesnt have to be forever, I just have to pay my dues and move on up and hopefully that will be sooner rather than later. I got my first paycheck, and my unemployment checks came through for those two weeks I was without money so that was really nice. My cousin is leaving Tuesday which sucks but I am glad she came. Also, my friend Kelly from my old job sent me a care package which was nice, it had a card and a BUNCH of Hello Kitty stuff in it!! :) I love stuff like that, it almost always makes me cry!
Ok Im off to read my new magazines I got today!
2 comments:
Oh bugger about the gall bladder pain, know the feeling! Had mine out about 4 years ago.... and it doesn't only happen to fat people mate.. even though I was enormous at the time.... I have heard it can happen to skinny people too so don't go blaming yourself! Shit happens. Yaa for your first paycheck!
Another thought on the gall bladder thing....it can actually be the result of dieting! The lack of daily fat intake.... Two of my relatives had to have thiers removed after mega-weight losses.
Just a thought!
Hope you're feeling better~
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